For the Silent Cries of the Unborn

It's been 6 years since I was first introduced into the Prolife movement, each year the facts have a profound impact on me more and more they change. I've worked for Respect Life Ministries in Amarillo for a few years, participating in their annual Marches, banquet and events to raise awareness to building a new culture of life. My advocacy began to develop as I grew older, speaking to Senators in Texas, like Rick Perry, about the Dignity of all human life, even spoke on radio stations. It's easy to get caught up in what we have done, I realized that there is never enough in serving to protect the life's of the innocent babies.

This year was my second year being apart of the National March for Life in Washington, D.C. and it's always cool to see so many people of so many different cultures gather to fight against the same cause. The reality and awakening of it all, is that today in our society there are people who don't even know this is happening, it is known as being safe, and easy when it is roughly not. It's our job to educate.
Together in learning different facts, hearing different speakers talk, attending mass, having fellowship, and finally marching on Capital Hill, I have learned that we should do everything we can to help end this crime that nobody sees. Raise awareness and give people the facts of what is really happening inside the womb of a mother. Not only here in our own country but also on the international level as well. In China, we all know they have the One Child Policy, with males being the favored gender,some families are forced to abort the baby girls during pregnancy, abort them after they are born, or abandon them. This is Gendercide and its happening now.
Every year has impact on my life and it calls me to be an even better advocate then I have ever been before, and to be the voice for those who have no voice.

A Shepherd's Love

Some years ago, while I was about 16 my father had his own little ranch back behind our home. It was a pretty big piece of land, one that grew lush green in the spring. When it rained, the water all gathered up at the bottom of the valley. My father had sheep in his land and every morning he found one who was victim of the wolves who visited the night before. This happened a number of times, finally my dad came to us as a family at the dinner table and asked me an my brother to join him in sleeping in the barn to scare away any predators. That evening me an my brother packed up sleeping bags, pillows and blankets for our little adventure we would be having. I remember the night being so calm you could hear the wolves howl in the distance. The sky was so clear that the stars could be seen for miles. That night we slept on the roof of the barn inside a huge cardboard box so we could shoot the wolves from the top. As the night went on, the storm clouds grew closer an closer, it started to rain, an thunder shook the ground. As the sky lite up from the lightning, crashing and popping only got louder and louder. After a few minutes, our cardboard shelter was ruined and we were forced to climb down inside. By the time we got inside the barn we were all soaked. All I remember is falling asleep from being so tired that night. Using the sound of a thousand drops of water every second to make me fall asleep. When I woke up to the rain hitting my face, I remember seeing this huge black figure with arms stretched out looking down on me an my brother, with a blanket in hands to block the rain. Protecting us, an doing everything possible to keep us dry. It was my father. He had sacrificed his whole night sleep to protect us. Ironically, it was his sheep that he was sacrificing, but his sheep he was protecting. Just like my father sacrificed himself for us, so does Christ right? Of course, God sacrificed his only son so that we could have eternal life and I think that alone is amazing for us to understand. It was out of love that he did that, out of compassion and its great to know God was thinking of us at that time.

I think its only fair that I share the ending of this story even though how inspiring it is.

The "Wolf" we were looking for turned out to be our family dog that killed the sheep

And...

The rain never stopped, it got harder and louder. We ended up running home in the pouring rain, laughing.

Just Another Start

Christmas and New Years went by pretty fast, It's great to start another year off in the state of living. The older I get it is like the more I become thankful each and everyday just for the things I have. When your little it is hard to be thankful for some of those things. Once you live in solitude and live in silence it's easy to notice what is hard to notice. Anyways, It's about that time of year to kick off another semester here at St. Greg's along with the new 2012 year. Every semester that digs a little deeper into my life, is starting to take a toll, It's going by so fast that I am starting to think that I don't have time for anything. I get pretty nervous, when I think about where I'm going after I leave this place. You know and it's just another reminder for myself to not look into the future. Just as easy as it is to look in the past, it's the same for the future. So in my own thoughts I am reminded to live in the present, and everyday it's getting harder and harder to live by that. In reality, it's hard to do what God wants you to do in general, I'm trying really hard to focus, focus on my school work, focus on my spirituality, health, and responsibilities. Sounds like a lot on my plate but I think I can do it. For me it's just another start.

Little Drummer Boy - Vincent Carrasco

We'll this past semester has been one of the toughest for me yet, and I was really anxious to head back home. I wanted to see my family, just cause I knew it was that time. It's like when your away for so long and then you just want to be with the person(s) you love. It was good to have my brother and father come up early to help load up the car and hall her back to good 'ole Texas. When I got home I remember just thinking man it's so good to be home and not worry about Finals and tests and meetings and all these other different things. Sometimes its good to see somebody that you haven't seen in a long time. It helps you grow, I think. Anyways, Christmas was coming up so I was like, hey, I think I'm gonna make a few Christmas songs so I figured I would play little drummer boy, it being my favorite Christmas song.

If you don't already know, little drummer boy is a song about this young boy who is a very poor young man, all he has is his drum. When he found out that Christ was to be born he went to go and see, while other kings were offerings gifts and sacrifice, all he could offer was his gift and talent, to play his drum. I wish I could imagine what that could of been like. Its cool to know, that even now, God loves it when we praise him through our talents and gifts because in reality we are offering what was made in us back to him. Here is the song

Simply Grateful

Today, I found myself really grateful for what I have. I got a call from my dad, saying he was in Oklahoma City on business, so I suggested that we meet up for dinner. When I left to head for the city, It was pouring rain. I couldn't see the road, couldn't even see through my windshield cause of all the mist from the cars ahead of me. I remember thinking about turning around and not taking a risk at killing myself just to see my dad. A lot of times we can take for granite what we have and don't even think about it. When I met him at the restaurant we were meeting, we shook hands, hugged and shared stories. I told him how I was doing and he told me how he was doing. He ended up telling me that earlier he had picked a guy up looking for a ride, he was homeless, unemployed and just placed there by God in providence. It was really fun to catch up with my father, since it had been a really long time since we talked.
Back at the school, there was a candlelight vigil for a St. Greg's student whose father had passed away in a plane crash, He was the OSU Women's basketball coach. To talk to my dad the same day, there is a vigil to remember one that has passed is something to be really grateful for.

Une vocation noble

Une vocation noble, it's french for a Noble Calling. As part of my discernment process here at the school God has placed me, I think I am understanding a new calling from God. Something like this has come to me only by the grace of God, through the hands of Mary. To comprehend this calling is a great privilege and an honor to believe that Christ himself is working through me to others.
My servitude has been a big part of my faith to Christ, It is something that I love doing. The smile that is left is a rewarding element to witness. Every mission trip that I have gone on is still in some way, shaping me even to this day. One that stands out that most, is my mission trip to Honduras.
Here, I went on a one week mission to build homes for those who have literally nothing. No Water, no electricity, no shelter. While it helped me realize to be grateful for everything I have, It helped me even more to understand that no matter what race we are, or even what language we speak, we are still are one in the same. A huge family that share in the same graces from God himself. It was just last year that I felt being called to becoming a missionary priest to help provide the sacraments and virtues to those who are less fortunate than others. In April 2010, I took a trip to Dallas with the diocese of Tulsa to visit the Holy Trinity Seminary. Someone that I grew very fond of on that trip was a 42 year old man from the Philippian Islands. Though his accent made it hard for me to understand, I still managed to make out what he was saying. It was a real gift and I am truly thankful that I see that. We hung out together, he taught me a few words, laughed together. He smiled, and every time he did it reminded me of the happiness from serving those who really need it. So this bond between the both of us started to become a real lesson for me. Later while I was visiting the seminary, I woke in the middle of the night, walked to the kitchen to help myself to a midnight snack. There I would meet a native from Guatemala, he happened to be in the kitchen eating too. We talked for a good hour, learning from each others past experiences. As he's telling me his story, for some reason the only thing that's running through my head is ways to help people. He told me that he went to school in Guatemala to become a priest. He emphasized that the people only have mass once every 3 months. When he told me this, my mind sort of stuck on this thought of helping out and changing this. Anyway, through time he got so sick, the school was forced to medically release him since they did not have the resources to keep him there. Frustrated, he set out for a desperate attempt to head for the United States, so he applied for a visa. I remember him saying that usually, it takes about 2 months to receive a visa in Guatemala, it is only typical. He said the very next day, heard at the knock at his door, and opened it to find somebody with an envelope that had his visa inside. He said, it was a miracle and to this day he believes it was an angel. One week later he found out that his uncle was flying to Houston for business, he begged his uncle for a ticket to come with, he found out that his uncle had exactly the amount needed for one more ticket in his bank. So he ended up going and now he is in Dallas, Texas attending a seminary, studying to become a priest.
I was amazed at the story and how everything seemed to work out for him. The whole weekend for me was a lesson, and a calling to help all of those in need. The thought of people having mass once in every 2 or 3 months lingered in my head, I couldn't imagine not having mass for that long.
Even now, we take it for granted and don't really get what we should out of it. We have the opportunity to attend daily mass while others only once every 90 days. That alone provides me with the desire to help as much as I can. Every time I am around somebody from a different country that calling just passes through my head. Talking with people from Honduras, Guatemala, Ivory Coast, Mexico, Haiti, and even the Bahamas, it really does go through your head. It's tough to discern what Christ wants out of us, but I learned that if we pray and put ourselves in obedience to God, graces will always be provided to help us see that calling. That calling, whatever it may be will always be a noble one.

Earthquake's Invitation

I've always been interested in natural disasters, just the beauty of how they are created and the power that they have. To me its intriguing, of course where I am from in Texas, the only natural disasters that I have actually witnessed are tornadoes and the famous high winds of the Texas Panhandle. Early on in my life, I was able to see the damage after hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. It's a great wonder and I think it will always be something that I am amazed at, but nothing like this. Last night Oklahoma was center for a massive 5.6 magnitude earthquake that was the state's strongest on record.
I remember being at my buddy's second floor apartment just hanging out with some friends and talking. All of a sudden we felt the ground shift beneath us. The ground shook as gave out the sound of the earth grumbling. Pictures began falling from the walls, the sound of shattering started to gradually fill the house and all at once these noises went on for about 45 seconds. My friends and I rushed downstairs and outside out of fear to the sound of people waking up to dogs barking furiously. We all decided to go back to the school together, so we left.
As we were driving back, I could see the school's structure in the distance, and noticed that there were only two lights at the top of the school. Before the earthquake, there were three red lights at the top of the school, so they would lite up the sky at night for the flying airplanes. When I noticed there was only two lights, I thought in my head that it might have went out during the earthquake.So I knew something was not right. As we drove up closer to the school, somebody in the car yelled out that one of the spires was completely gone. When we turned the corner, we found just clumps of bricks that were shattered all over the road. One of the towers had collapsed during the earthquake, and the three remaining were cracked. One of the remaining three has a massive hole right in the middle of at, the bricks just fell over from the huge quake. We had no choice but to drive over everything. I remember thinking to myself that this was all so crazy. If you have never been around any earthquake, that was one that you could be in and instantly say there is a God. He cares for us, and wants us to understand what he is capable of doing. Now days things happen, and we just become so desensitized that we don't even care for it. Through all this sadness, I think its also an invitation to accept the things that bring us down. For us to rejoice, love life and be glad because we are alive and well, and I think Christ wants us to understand that. It was definitely a memorial night and I am glad to be alive to experience something like this even though it can be painful to witness.

Unforgettable Unity

A couple of friends and I decided to drive up to Wisconsin for fall break. We drove up through St. Louis, visited a few seminary schools, stayed the night and had some fun. When we arrived on Wisconsin, I couldn't help notice the beauty of the state. It was so beautiful and so clean. Season changing leaves on the trees, and rolling hills that are either farmland, forest or grass fields. When we met the family it was so comforting, I felt like I was at home. This family was the happiest family I have ever seen in a long time. No worries, no stress, just the family and this sense of unity. I remember watching everybody having a good time with each other and all of a sudden I started to think of my family and every single person. How sometimes we have those days when we argue and don't get along. Naturally that is how every family is, sometimes you just don't get along. It made me be so grateful for the family that I have today and cherish them as long as I can.

You know all weekend long, we have been talking about life and how its not about where you are at, but the people you are with. I think God wants us to understand that as his followers, yeah its great to get out and experience what life is like through the different areas and culture but as long as we cherish the people that are there living that culture It's almost like your there with them and apart of what they love. It's with those great people that you gain the unity that Christ wants us to. This weekend in Wisconsin has been great and I won't forget it here.

A Love Divine

The word "Love" is over used and miss interpreted so many times now days. So much that when it comes down to it, we don't even notice the true or exact love that comes from within or from somebody else. For the first time in my life I witnessed a true and divine love that was brought up from God through Christ himself. Some friends of mine having been dating for quite a while now and today was the day he would ask her. We decorated the Mary chapel with roses and red flower pedals. As she walked in, he sang her a song that he wrote.When he finished he dropped to one knee, looked at her straight in the eye and said to her, "Karen, I love you so much, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. So would you marry me?" For the first time I saw love, true love, self-giving love that would bow down and ask for love in return. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It was a sacred moment, and I couldn't help but see Christ down on his knees in the same position, asking us the exact same question. Will you love me, will you live in me. The question and the response together make a one, true love divine. It was great to be apart of, Congratulations to my good friends Joshua & Karen Dutchover Hynes.

Everything and Nothing

From Matt Maher's new album, this song has got my attention and I can't stop listening to it. It's one of those songs that helps you realize all that you have done, it has you close you eyes to listen to the lyrics even more closely. When I heard it for the first time I didn't know exactly what the song was talking about, and I thought the title was weird. I had no idea what Matt was talking about. Even now I still don't, because it is not my song. For some reason it sticks out to me.
For the past few weeks, I have been down, lost thinking about my self-esteem and what other people think of me. It almost feels like I am nothing and worthless to everyone, including myself. When I go to mass in the evenings, for those few minutes after receiving communion I instantly feel like I am everything in the world, I feel like I am held in the palm of God's hand. In a sense, I am Everything and Nothing in his Love. When I got to hearing the song more and more, I started thinking this song describes exactly how I feel. I'm lost and found, I'm saved and drowned. I'm everything and nothing all in one, I'm so far gone, but I'm already home, cause everything but your love. I thank God everyday for the love that he's given me, without his love we would be nothing. It's through his love that we are Everything, and through his grace we are nothing. The nothing is what makes us stronger.